My MostJewish Christmas

Posted 12/20/2010 by Deborah Glanzberg-Krainin

Blogger Deborah Glanzberg-Kramin posing with a snowman she built as a child

No movie theaters, no Chinese restaurants, no dreadful Jewish singles events... in the small Vermont town where I grew up, there was really nothing to do on December 25 but trek through the snow to our friendly Catholic neighbors, who invited us to drink eggnog and sing Christmas carols. I was a quick learner at our local public school, so I knew all the words. Back then, at least, carols were taught in the classroom without a second thought.

It never occurred to anyone to throw in a token Hanukkah song. And believe me, Kwanza was just not an issue.

Now I live in Philadelphia, where there are a plethora of diversions available on Christmas, and there is much ado about which seasonal songs are sung in schools. But I still like to hunker down at home with a stiff drink and the radio tuned to the all Christmas music station, so I can relive my childhood. Those who are close to me have the privilege of hearing me belt out "O Come All Ye Faithful" and "Silent Night."

The truth is that I need that drink, because — despite the neighbors and the singing — my childhood memories are not entirely pleasant. I felt different and insecure at Christmas. I was not sure how to orient myself to this cultural-religious juggernaut. As a Jew who was not partaking in the festivities I didn't know if I wanted to stand up proud or run and hide. Really, there was an element of embarrassment involved in not celebrating Christmas — it felt I was doing something wrong, and making everyone else uncomfortable too. Like wearing a mini-skirt to visit the Pope.

I'm a rabbi now, so you can guess that I have embraced the pride thing. But I also live many layers removed from the Christmas trenches, and I know that makes it easier to feel the way I do. In a big city, surrounded by lots of Jews or other non-Christmas folk and without kids in public schools or creches in the public square, it is pretty easy to be sanguine about Christmas. But sanguine is not the "MostJewish" of feelings; so let's get to the interesting stuff...

What makes you feel most Jewish at Christmas? I want to get beyond the usual "being Jewish at Christmas" trope. I am asking you to really think hard about how you experience this time of year in the Western world and share the most Jewish thing that comes up for you. Is it the classic Chinese food and a movie? Is it covering for a friend at work so she can celebrate with her family at home? Volunteering at a shelter? Shopping online? Holding a family Hanukkah party on December 25 regardless of that pesky lunar calendar? In the comments below please share your stories – serious or funny – about how you deal with this perennial collision of identity, celebration, and commercialism.